The Last of My Twenties

This pretty much sums it up.

Happy 29th Birthday to me!

PRESENTS, POLITICS, and OPINIONS

Well guys... believe it or not, birthday month is already here! It's crazy how fast time flies. Dave's going to be well over 30 now, I'm turning 29 and will be soaking up the last of my fabulous twenties, and Dan is... well, Dan is going to be my favorite age so far: 27 (that's how old I was when I got married).

So lets talk presents for a second. I'm just going to say upfront that you don't need to get me anything for my b-day. Dave, we'll be celebrating b-days by hanging out and drinking a lot (thinking of you guys the whole time, of course) which is more than I could ask for from you and Sarah. I will say though--and this is mostly for the parentals--that Jeff and I are asking everyone who feels inclined to by us presents for birthdays AND Christmas to stick with giving us straight cash so we can put it towards our big Nicaragua/Costa Rica trip at the end of the year. As always, you don't have to stick to that suggestion, but know that any cash gift will go towards another fabulous burrito and fish while overseas.

I don't have too much of an update on life right now. Jeff is in Pittsburgh for a youth conference, so I'm keeping myself busy and even managed to talk the in-laws into taking me out for some delicious sushi tonight! In general, I've been keeping my schedule pretty open cuz I'm soaking up my last few months of freedom before I start my pre-reqs for nursing school in January. That is, IF I get into the classes I need. I will register December 1st, so I'll know then if I made it in. If I do, Christmas will be my last week at Starbucks so I have more time for school and studying. I'll still stay at the church 20hrs/week because I get paid more there, but I have to admit I'm pretty sad to leave the bucks. Mostly because of the sweet discounts I get (I'm a sucker for hook-ups), but also because of the relationships I've built while working there.

Jeff and I are doing well and super excited for this holiday season! I have to say, the brand new Thanksgiving Blend coming out at Starbucks on Tuesday (election day) has something to do with it. Not to mention our new Gingersnap Latte and Espresso Truffle we're going to offer! You guys have NO idea what you're in for. BRING ON THE WINTER LAYER!

Sooooo, who are you guys voting for? Come on... we can share. We're family, right? I'm voting for McCain mostly because I can't ethically vote for someone (obama) who supports late-term abortion. I don't really like McCain either, but what do you do? There are other reasons, but I hate political debate so I'm not saying anymore right now. Does that sound like a double standard?

I will end with sharing how crazy it is in California with the Proposition 8 debate going on. If you don't know what Prop 8 is, it's the prop that, if passed, will end the gay marriages. It is a HUGE source of tension every where right now. Those voting NO have made it into this 8 = hate and rights issue. Those voting YES are saying it's to restore traditional marriage because they don't want their children to be taught about gay marriages in schools (which is what will happen if prop 8 doesn't pass, and this will spread over the entire nation and then what happens to our religious freedom? This is currently happening in Massachusetts). I've wrestled a lot with how I'm going to vote, and I've decided to vote YES on prop 8. To restore traditional marriage. Why? Because for me, it's not a political issue. It's not about giving gay individuals their rights. It's a moral issue, and as a Believer, I profess to live by the Bible. The Bible says that God created marriage for a specific purpose, between a man and woman, and I can't vote against that. I love gay people, I have a heart for them (I hate the sin, but I love the sinner). Dad, I know you think being a homosexual is mostly genetic, but I disagree. I believe it's a temptation like any other temptation. Some are tempted by it, and some aren't. As with any temptation, you can give into it, or you can choose to fight it.

I know our country isn't even close to being as horrible as the Romans were before they fell. But, it's definitely scary to think of the direction our country is heading, whether in my lifetime or our childrens' or our great-grand childrens'. Jeff has a great historical fact that I believe is so true: Every great empire's downfall began when the family broke down (or something like that).

And there you have it! My opinions.

The Year of the Rats

Jeff and I have decided to give this past year the title
"The Year of the Rats"

Last night we killed what would be the 6th rat in our home in one year. Sure, two of them were caught in the attic, but you try going to sleep at night hearing them scurry around in your vents. Not so sweet. We have officially killed 4 rats in our kitchen alone. Our KITCHEN! And yes, I'm using the word kill very intentionally here. I feel a little guilty about that part of the whole process, but only until I picture one of the giant, disgusting, bacteria-infested creatures pawing my kitchen counter and digging their yellow teeth into my butter dish. Oh yes. It has happened. And who knows how many times we used that butter until we saw the teeth marks.

Lets just say we're almost done with living here. The rats have almost successfully driven us out. I think what did it was the last rat "situation" where one of them was nicked by the rat trap but escaped, leaving a trail of blood on our carpet and smeared one whole section of our kitchen tile with its blood. You should have seen Jeff's face when I realized, as we were looking for the half-dead rat (this was all right before work by the way), that the rat had come out of hiding and was laying right in the middle of our kitchen floor. It actually looked cute for a second. But it wasn't so cute when it bit the rat guy through a bag 2 hours later. And it was even grosser when we realized it had been hiding underneath our brand new dishwasher (the blood-smeared path revealed that little rat secret).

Jeff and I have decided that if we catch ONE more rat, we're out. The rats will have won.
I can't handle wondering if I'm going to see another rat jump around beside me while I'm sitting at the computer, or if I've left the front door open for a minute too long and our pantry is no longer safe.

And did I mention that we had to spend almost $200 fixing our car because a rat chewed one of the wires in half (but to the rats defense, this happened in our church parking lot, not at our house)?
But still..... this is why it's
THE YEAR OF THE RATS.

CO Girls reunite

You have no idea how significant these pics are. I don't even know if explaining it will give it the justice it deserves. But of course I'm going to try.

Pretend you're me. Take yourself back to 2003....
Your life has just been turned upside down. You now have a broken engagement on your hands and no idea what your life is going to look like. So you do what any other girl with a broken heart would do. You pack everything you own (or at least attempt to) into your Daewoo and drive to the West coast with 3 of your closest friends to live. To dream. To become you again. To discover passions and gifts you didn't know you had.

You experience the most significant 2 years of your life.

Now fast forward to 2008. You're married to the man of your dreams. You have lived in Colorado and now are back in Cali. You're still working at a coffee shop (some things never change). The girls you lived with 4 years ago are still your soul mates. They know you like few others do. They fought for you, reminded you of who you were when you had forgotten.
It's July, and you all reunite in the random town of Grand Junction. The CO girls are together again. Things are the same and yet different. New. One of us just had a baby.

And life goes on.

My Dad's engaged!

I took a trip to Grand Junction and saw my Dad and his fiance Diana. Just yesterday they summited a fourteener where they became officially engaged. I am so happy for both of them.

Here is a pic from our time together. This was after they had taken me to get Palisade Peaches and wine tasting. Here we are at the brewery in Palisade. Next we went to the Palisade Pilsnery. I was feeling mighty fine on the plane ride home.

I can't remember the last time I've seen my dad this happy.

Quote of the week

"Knowing oneself loved by God is not a matter of knowing about God's love. It's not a matter of saying the right words or even claiming the right beliefs. It's about something that happens on a deeper level than words and ideas and knowledge and thoughts. It's something that gets inside one's soul and never leaves." -Lynne Hybels

Present Obligations

I'm not talking about the present. I'm talking about presents (the English language has always been so weird to me... what were we thinking by creating many words that are spelled and pronounced the same but have completely different meanings?)

Back to my deep thought for the day:
Have you ever noticed that there is more of a present buying obligation during Christmas than on people's birthdays?

WHY IS THAT? I mean, that's really messed up, right?!

Think about it.

Back pain is moving Forward

For 3 months I've been playing the game with my insurance to finally get an appointment to see an Orthopedic doctor. Yesterday, I finally met with Dr. Roper, ortho doc extraordinare. I walked into the room with hope that he would have answers, hope that he could tell me what I wanted to hear so I could close the insurance claim on the car accident i was in 2 years ago. I walked out of the room in tears. Feelings of relief coupled over confusion overwhelmed me as I struggled to grasp his advice. He gave me this simple statement, "Move on with your life."

You see, I've spent the past 3 YEARS... hours upon hours, energy, money, doctor visits, hope upon disappointment seeking healing for my back pain. I have 4 bulging, dried-up discs in my lower back along with 2 bones broken off of my vertebrae which are now hanging out in my muscle tissue, never again to grow back. I will never be able to run again, go backpacking, etc. Good thing I ran a half-marathon and climbed Mt. Whitney just a few short months before the surfing accident. The year following my surfing accident (when the majority of my injuries occurred), I was mentally moving on with my life when BAMB, I got in a car accident one year after the surfing accident and ever since I've been consumed with trying to find healing and proof that the car accident caused further damage to my back and the other guy's insurance should pay for some of the thousands of dollars in medical expenses.

I am tired.
I am done with trying the "new" thing that will heal my pain.
I am done trying to get my medical expenses reimbursed.
I am done with praying for a miracle.


I am moving on with my life.

My One Year Anniversary with the Bucks

Starbucks and I have been dating now for one year. I started my coffee master journey on April 31, 2007. I took the job as an interim fix, a band aid for the transition out to Cali while I figured out "what I really wanted to do with my life" (life before babies that is--it's hard to look for a new career when my maternity clock is ticking and starting a family is always somewhere in the back of my mind--I'll be 29 this year people!). Looking back I wonder, "should I have started out at the buck embracing the job fully by becoming a starbucks manager right away, instead of always waiting and looking for what was next?" I'd be making more $ right now and I'd definitely be less bored. I wonder.... all this wasted time and I'm still in the same place.

All that to be said, I have a job search update: I'm officially on part-time staff at our church for good! But let me back up here. I haven't been super psyched about the position, actually I was really hesitant to take the job in general, but nonetheless, after much discussion with the executive pastor I am now committed. My starting title is Connections Director Assistant. What is hard for me to swallow is that I'm only starting out at 8 hrs./week--but in just a few weeks I'll hopefully be up to 16hrs once I have a more defined job description. This means I'm still torn between jobs, focus and purpose. I'm still at the buck part-time so we can attempt to pay our bills.

Why did I take the job? To get my foot in the door. I have to remember this is just a starting point, and 6 months (or whenever) from now I'm hoping to be full-time at the church and using more of my gifts. It's very flattering that I was even hired in the first place! And they want me there long-term.

Tomorrow is my first 8 hr. day in the church office, and I'm struggling to maintain a positive attitude. I feel like my potential is not being utilized yet, and I'm working for less than I want to. I don't feel excited about this position. Tonight I'm reminding myself of truth= I know this is only temporary and my job will continue to morph into something more fitting. For awhile now I've I wanted to be in ministry again (direct ministry--I've been trying to remind myself that my life should be my ministry and I need to stop complaining about not being able to work for a specific ministry when I've had more ministry opportunities at the buck than in most churches) and sitting in a church office isn't exactly what I had hoped for.

What it boils down to is this position isn't what I envisioned the Lord opening up for me. But is that how things really work? But when is it ever what we think it will be? i guess I was expecting the Lord to do something more obvious, ya know? Something where I would say, "wow! This job is exactly what I've been praying for and searching for the past year!"

But then again... maybe this job is exactly that (just not yet), and I need to be content where He has me today and be faithful to what he's given me today.

The Total Money Makeover

Well, because of Wachovia being stupid, we lost our buyer for the Hyundai. We're now so desperate we're trying to sell either the jetta or the hyundai. Anyone? Anyone?

Such is life. We now have 3 cars (granted, one was free) and we've had work done on all three so they're in pretty good shape. It's sweet. Plus, they're all clean thanks to my sweet husband (and the local car wash). :)

As of this month, we have completely revamped the way we do finances. We're now on the "Dave Ramsey" bandwagon and running like a gazelle towards a debt-free life. Or maybe we're just running out of the financial hole Cali dropped us into. Either way, we're on the road to financial freedom and feeling pretty good about it (not to mention we also received all of our tax refunds which feels pretty good). There's something liberating about going to the grocery store and paying with your Debit Card, knowing you have money in your checking account to actually buy what you're buying in that moment. It really does give you a sense of financial freedom and security.

We're trying to use Quicken as well, but haven't gotten the hang of how to work with the new online version. Looks like you have to update your accounts every time you log on. Hopefully we can remedy that.

Guess that's it for now. Onward to living like no one else now so we can live like no one else later!

Wachovia Sucks

I hate, hate, hate Wachovia. If any of you have a loan through them or are thinking about using them as your lien holder, DON'T. We are in the process of paying off our car loan and it has been a complete nightmare. I mean, I'm so angry that I can't even write down the details because i'll get too fired up and start shaking again. :)

The sad thing is that my mom and George also had a horrible experience with them and were really screwed over and ended up leaving them and going with another lien holder. And this was last year. So, we're not the only ones who have been through the ringer with this bank.

THEY ARE HORRIBLE, DISRESPECTFUL, and I promised them in a faxed letter that I would be telling everyone I knew to never use their services. I think this is a good start.

Welcome Home

Is FREE always a good thing? Well, in the case of our new '94 Nissan truck, it is.

Jeff and I have been praying for a new car that would allow us to get out of our current car payment with the Hyundai. The Lord has such a good sense of humor when we ended up with Jeff's old truck that he originally bought over 10 years ago. It's been passed around his family ever since he moved to Colorado, and now it's ours. Jeff's new favorite saying is. "I brought her into this world, and I'm going to take her out of it." The fun thing about this truck is that it's the same truck Jeff used to drive me around during the week we first met! How romantic.

We don't have a name for her yet, although we at least know she's a girl. I'll keep you posted.

We have a potential buyer for the Hyundai already and the car is getting checked out by a mechanic as we speak. If they end up buying it, we'll be driving our old cars in style with a smile cuz we don't have any car payments! Oh the joys of fighting against what the world tells us we should have or deserve.

When Sharks Attack

Yes, I know sharks are out there. But I've always felt safe surfing here because it's just "Southern Cali". No one really gets attacked by sharks around here.

Until yesterday.

There was a fatal shark attack in North County. Right in Solana Beach, one of the main beaches. A 12-17 ft. Great White shark mistook a group of triathlete swimmers for a pod of seals. The man was 66 yrs. old and he bled to death on the beach before anyone could help him.

Ethical question of the day:
Am I playing God by knowing there is always the chance i could DIE because I choose to be a surfer?

Yoga Tropics

I'm hooked. I went to yoga today for the very first time, actually it was HOT yoga, and I loved it. You walk in and the room is a scorching 105 degrees. Then you proceed to spend the next hour performing yoga. Every single part of me was dripping, drenched, soaked in sweat. I couldn't breathe at some points. I felt so nauseous! I absolutely loved it. Supposedly it gets easier every time. I'm so chilled right now (literally and mentally).

I mean, where else can you be a few blocks from the beach in Encinitas (right across from my starbucks, actually) taking a yoga class and releasing toxins through your pores? It's so fabulous.

YOGA WARRIOR here I come!

Surprise, Surprise...Back to the drawing board

I didn't get either job.
I heard about both of them within a few hours of each other. But the Lord prepared my heart and I'm thankful. He was protecting me from taking it too personally. It really was for the better...neither job is what I would have wanted long term.

I just have one thing to say: The President of Youth Specialties isn't someone I'd want to work for because this is how he told me I didn't get the job= "We're hiring someone else. Thanks for your interest." THAT'S IT! I'm sorry, but if someone doesn't even have the time or the conscience or whatever it takes to say, "It was nice meeting with you" (oh and thanks for spending 4 hours of your day to interview with us)or one ounce of feedback, then I'm sorry but their priorities are out of order.

No excuses. That's just plain rude.

For all I know, my zipper was down the entire interview.

Queen for a day

Hey, if anyone is looking to hire someone in Carlsbad to disciple women, help with administrative work, help with worship, teach surfing lessons, encourage/lead/shepherd a team... call me. I'm looking for this job.

Interview Week

So I just finished my second interview this week. I'm exhausted. I'll start from the beginning.

The first interview was with Youth Specialties. Two hours after I arrived in hot El Cajon, I left the YS building encouraged and so confused. I met with the President and also with the President and the VP of events. I think we all had the same concerns: a) Is the position too administrative for a relational person like me, and b)The 40 min. commute each way and lack of "space/flexibility" in my day.

Pros= There just so happens to be one other person who lives in North County who just so happens to live 2 miles from me who I could carpool with...and she's not a Christian. pretty sweet. I could leave a little after eight every morning and get home right before six. Millions and trillions of other people in the world work this same schedule and are fine (but it tends to suck the life out of me if I don't have flexibility, which I had with my old admin. job in YL and even then I lost passion for it). I wouldn't be an "admin", I'd be an assistant. They are actually different. I really like the staff and could see myself working for them. The perk: I would be making some good $$! Which would make up for the expensive $4/gallon gas prices.

Cons= Gone would be the random morning surf sessions with my hubby (if I have the energy after working over a 40 hr/week, I might still be able to go on Saturday mornings, but then jeff and I will never have a morning to relax together...and our Saturday mornings are pretty special to us cuz it's the only day we have off together). Gone would be the hanging out with friends during the week and trying to fit it all into one weekend on top of helping with the worship team at church Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday. Gone would be my time Wed. nights as a small group leader for the jr. high youth group (I'd have to cut out something). My sciatica pain is a major con (from my back injury). Just driving down and back for the interview flared me up so bad! I don't know what to do with that... it really sucks and is hard for me to deal with. My back hurts as I'm writing this.

They were hoping to make a decision by the end of this week. I'm praying they just don't offer me the job and the door is closed because I can't make up my mind as to what I should do. GO WITH ME HERE...I'M JUST EXTERNALLY PROCESSING! If I take the job, don't hold these thoughts against me.

The second interview is one I haven't written about yet. It was for a temporary, potentially turning into permanent, job as a part-time Admin. Assistant to the Project Manager for North Coast Calvary's new church they're building.

(would have to stay at the buck part-time if I took this job)

Thoughts= this is only a temporary fix but will help the finances out until I figure out something permanent. This job would incorporate all of my experiences as an admin and would be totally new for me. I've never helped a Project Manager bring together the completion of a new church building! It's going to be challenging in many ways (including trying to fit it into my starbucks availability). I don't know if I'm the person for the job. It's crunch time in the project--only six weeks left--and they had to replace the previous assistant because her husband is passing away. I don't really know how to do a lot of things this job would require, but I do know I'd be willing to try ad learn. It's just that I'd also be working 20 hours at the buck on top of trying to learn a whole new job. Talk about being exhausted.

I should know Monday if they want to hire me or not.

I'm thankful for the experiences I had this week. I now have what I call my "interview outfit". My resume is fully updated. Each interview was completely from the Lord. I have just one question for the Lord: after 8 months of waiting and looking for jobs, could you have at least given me the interviews a week apart?!

Monday this will all be over. Or actually it might just be starting.

Executive

I have a job interview next week for a big job. Ever heard of Youth Specialties? Well, I'm interviewing to be the President's executive assistant. What the crap. Maybe you don't even know what YS is, and that makes me feel better. YS is to churches what Young Life is to the para-church. I don't know if that makes any sense. I don't even really know why I'm going for this job. I would have to commute 45 min. to work each way. I would have to work from 8-5 every day, M-F, week after week. Which means I'm leaving the house around 7am and not returning until 6pm. I don't know exactly what the job will look like, but I'm pretty sure it will entail me sitting for 40 hours a week, which my back can't really take. I felt led to apply for the position the second I heard about it, so I did. This is how it works. This is how God works in my life. And now I'm questioning why I'm even doing it. I guess I want to see if I can get the job. I would enjoy many aspects of the job. I would be in ministry. I'm flattered to even be a consideration. I'm externally processing.

I'm scared.

The interview is this coming Wed. at 2:30. Pray for me.

I don't even know what to wear. I haven't had a hair cut in over 2 months. I don't want this interview to cause me to question my worth... but it's definitely causing me to question a lot.

Flowers in the field

"...see how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.....therefore, seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6

And just think: He made these for us to enjoy!


Why then is it so hard to live out the verse above? Why can't I rest in the truth of his words. Why does it have to be such a fight.


i took this pic yesterday at the Carlsbad flower fields near our house.

Expressions

To see into me and believe what is true.
I want to dive there and bring life to the words.
Capturing feelings and placing them on paper
can't solidify true emotions flying like birds.
Through the air and past my hands
They escape with a whisper of what wants to be said.

Fair-Weather Surfing

I try and pretend I'm not a fair-weather surfer. So I go out in cold wind and choppy waves with cloudy skies, scared that I'm going to get attacked by a shark, tight lipped and aching ears.... to only catch one wave for an entire 45 minute session.
That's what I like to call fair-weather surfing.

I am lonely. I miss being near my close friends and spending more time with my husband.

Daffodilias

I left Trader Joes with a small bundle of bright, yellow daffodils peaking out the top of my bag. The sun was shining. I had just purchased my favorite nuts and corn bread. It is a glorious day.