Back pain is moving Forward

For 3 months I've been playing the game with my insurance to finally get an appointment to see an Orthopedic doctor. Yesterday, I finally met with Dr. Roper, ortho doc extraordinare. I walked into the room with hope that he would have answers, hope that he could tell me what I wanted to hear so I could close the insurance claim on the car accident i was in 2 years ago. I walked out of the room in tears. Feelings of relief coupled over confusion overwhelmed me as I struggled to grasp his advice. He gave me this simple statement, "Move on with your life."

You see, I've spent the past 3 YEARS... hours upon hours, energy, money, doctor visits, hope upon disappointment seeking healing for my back pain. I have 4 bulging, dried-up discs in my lower back along with 2 bones broken off of my vertebrae which are now hanging out in my muscle tissue, never again to grow back. I will never be able to run again, go backpacking, etc. Good thing I ran a half-marathon and climbed Mt. Whitney just a few short months before the surfing accident. The year following my surfing accident (when the majority of my injuries occurred), I was mentally moving on with my life when BAMB, I got in a car accident one year after the surfing accident and ever since I've been consumed with trying to find healing and proof that the car accident caused further damage to my back and the other guy's insurance should pay for some of the thousands of dollars in medical expenses.

I am tired.
I am done with trying the "new" thing that will heal my pain.
I am done trying to get my medical expenses reimbursed.
I am done with praying for a miracle.


I am moving on with my life.